Christmas TV advertisements hit all time low

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Online Retailer, and genuine Christmas purveyor www.iambadsanta.co.uk has been working hard reviewing the latest crop of TV advertisements, and despite several bouts of nausea, this is the official review ratings, based on our sample audience.

John Lewis - Rumpy Pumpy Penguin (4/10)

We thought they could not go any lower, and yet they have managed to plumb new depths with this years seasonal offering. The desperation of a loveless Penguin could have been OK. Well shot, nice little kid, decent pace for the advert, but then they just go, and make the penguin available for sale at £95.00 Absolutely disgraceful. As one of our panel put it 'I used to like John Lewis, and then my child liked John Lewis, and now I have to spend £95 on my child, on an absolutely unneccessary product.. Thanks John Lewis... I won't forget this Christmas.

Aldi - Jools Holland's menacing grin (4/10)

The seamless jumps from a family Christmas dinner, to a warship. to Bondi Beach, to the International Space Station and then finally to the grinning face of Jools Holland, as the dinner table turns into a grand piano...... What on earth are they doing? Last year they showed a sense of humour, and promoted some cheap alternatives to real brands. This year, they sign up a B list celebrity and steal a former Tory punch line 'We're all in this together.' 

If I really wanted someone playing piano at the end of my dinner table I would invite Les Dawson...

Sainsbury's - Lest we forget (5/10)

This is a difficult one, as at least they are helping an appeal and their product will raise some money for a decent cause. However, the last year has taught us all hopefully that WW1 was easily one of the most horrendous events in human history, and to glamorise or 'use' WW1 in any way to promote yourself, makes us feel a little uneasy.

Sorry, as the advert is really well done and shows one act of kindness in a period of complete insanity. However, if Sainsbury's want to make an advertisement about Christmas, then why not show a kid under a Christmas tree playing with some penguin dolls. 

Boots - Not sure what is happening here (2/10)

We could describe the advertisement but we would bore you to death. A nurse goes home on Boxing Day and is surprised by people in her living room. That seems to be it.... I like worthy. Nurses are worthy... Moms are worthy..... working on Christmas Day is worthy.... 

However, I like overeating at Christmas.....Unworthy. I like getting expensive presents...Unworthy. I argue with my Mom at Christmas because she drives me crazy...Unworthy... 

We are still waiting for the Woolworth's advert, and the rest of them are not even worth reviewing.

Mark Carton

markcarton@icloud.com 

07891 851399

Bad Santa is a new wrapping paper, gift tag, greeting card and unique gifts online retailer.Based on an unusual idea to use wrapping paper PROPERLY, and not just as an aesthetic cover for a present, Bad Santa represents the ironic, sarcastic and fairly bad person that lives inside all of us.

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