Valentine’s tip: “Give and take” the key to relationship success for care home couple
Her husband may now be in a care home, but Barbara Smith from Chigwell says that young couples need to remember ‘give and take’ when it comes to relationships if they want to last as long as their happy marriage!
Barbara and Geoffrey Smith have been married nearly 49 years. Geoff, who has Parkinson’s Disease and associated dementia with Lewy Bodies, now lives at Belmont Lodge Care Centre on Fencepiece Road – a very familiar place to Geoffrey, as he was born at number 13 and met his future wife at the Old Maypole pub on the same street.
“I’d have to say that the secret of a long, happy marriage is tolerance and give and take. Back in the day, many wives didn’t have as much freedom as women today, but Geoffrey was always happy for me to enjoy time out with my friends, and likewise, I was happy for him to have nights out with his,” says Barbara. “I’ll never forget when he bought me an eternity ring after the birth of our son – a lovely, romantic gesture, and I still treasure that ring today.”
Their marriage has remained strong – even with Geoff now requiring full time nursing care – but a mishap at the wedding means that they have very few photos of their happy day. “Geoffrey’s brother was an amateur photographer and offered to take our wedding pictures. Unfortunately, he left the lens cap on his camera for the whole day, so the only photos we have are a couple taken in the evening – it took quite a few years for him to live that down!”
Barbara and Geoffrey spend time together every day at Belmont Lodge, where Barbara goes in to help him with his lunch. The Smith family have remained living in the area throughout their married life, and indeed, most of their family – three daughters and one son, eight granddaughters and three grandsons, and their great grandson and daughter – live within walking distance of the home, making sure that Geoffrey has plenty of visitors.
“Geoffrey went into respite care for a couple of weeks, and we knew that he would soon need full time professional care, so I looked around three of the homes with my daughters, and Belmont Lodge was the most homely of all the places we looked at,” explains Barbara. “The manager, Maureen, helped us with all the paperwork and made the transition as simple as possible, and I very much enjoy coming each day to spend time with my husband.”
Barbara and Geoffrey are not the only couple at Belmont Lodge – two other couples reside in the home, and there is one other gentleman whose wife, like Barbara, pops in to visit every day. “A homely atmosphere is so important to our residents, and I think this is why we have so many couples choosing Belmont Lodge – all the comforts of their own home, with warm and friendly staff to look after them when they need that extra bit of support,” comments manager, Maureen McDonagh.
Belmont Lodge is located on Fencepiece Road in Chigwell, and offers 24 hour residential care for older people, with a particular specialism in dementia care. The home has 40 bedrooms, most of which have ensuite facilities, and five day rooms where residents can enjoy views over the beautiful gardens. The home is one of 13 in the Forest Healthcare family of homes, offering excellent care throughout Greater London and the South East. For more information, please call 0208 500 5222 or visit www.foresthc.com. For those looking for a suitable home for a loved one, visits are also welcome at any time with no appointment necessary.
ENDS
For further media information or photographs, please contact:
Sam Orange or Jay Commins
Pyper York Limited
Tel: 01904 500698
Email: sam@pyperyork.co.uk or jay@pyperyork.co.uk