Many Couples Dissatisfied with Their Sex Life after the Birth of Their First Child

According to a survey by researchers at the Sahlgrenska Academy, about perceptions of intimate relationships, parents generally remain dissatisfied with their sex life even when their first child is eight years old.

A survey conducted by the Gothenburg researchers in 2002 asked 820 Gothenburg parents about their relationship six months after the birth of their first child. A follow-up study was conducted in 2006 when the child was four years old. This time the researchers have returned to the parents to ask them about their relationship after the child have turned eight.

The studies found that parents generally reported deterioration in their relationship when their first child was four years old. Relationships tended to improve somewhat once the child was eight but had still not returned to the level six months after the child’s birth.

The sensual dimension of these relationships, measured in terms of hugs and caresses, steadily declined in quality, while the sexual dimension remained constantly low throughout all three questionnaires.

Couples who had only one child were equally dissatisfied with their love lives as those with several children: they had sex only occasionally (once or twice a month) and reported that they “felt tired.”

“These results are cause for concern,” says Tone Ahlborg, researcher at the Institute. “To successfully perform their role as parents and avoid the danger of separation, couples with young children must feel comfortable with each other and be able to enjoy a satisfying love life. From all appearances, however, they tend to downplay the importance of intimacy in favour of their children, careers, housework and other activities.”

The multi-year study, which has generated six scholarly articles so far, suggests that one of the most stressful factors is the lack of time, both alone and together and with the other parent, away from the children. Many couples also cite lack of relief and support, both as parents and in their relationship with each other.

“It goes without saying that there are couples who report a sense of closeness and intimacy, even as lovers, while spending time with their children,” Ahlborg says.

“Those of us who encounter parents of young children can support them by offering relief so that they will have the energy and space to make time for each other. But the most important thing is to help them understand that raising young children represents only a brief period of their lives and that the joy and sense of togetherness they experience can compensate for the feeling that they don’t have enough for themselves or one another.”

The researchers have proceeded from the results of the previous studies to develop a questionnaire that scientifically assesses the perceived quality of intimate relationships. Entitled Quality of Dyadic Relationship, the form consists of 36 questions about compatibility, affinity, satisfaction, sensuality and sexuality. The test is used by marriage counsellors and other healthcare professionals.

The article Quality of the Intimate and Sexual Relationship in First-time parents – A Longitudinal Study was published in Sexual & Reproductive Healthcare. 

Link to article: http://bit.ly/MoYsW3

FROM THE GOTHENBURG STUDY: FACTORS THAT KEEP A RELATIONSHIP ALIVE:

Sensuality: Hugs and caresses are an excellent way of maintaining a sense of intimacy, particularly when sex is on the back burner.

Good communication: Setting aside time for quiet conversation once or twice a week after the children have gone to bed keeps lines of communication open.

Affirmation: People thrive when they are affirmed by their partners as both parents and mates.

Honesty: A relationship matures if partners are able to express their desires and preferences about each other’s behaviour without engaging in accusations and generalisations.

For more information, please contact:
Tone Ahlborg, Institute of Health and Care Sciences, Sahlgrenska Academy at the University of Gothenburg
Phone +46 31-786 6053
Mobile +46 732 155641
tone.ahlborg@gu.se

Presskontakt Krister Svahn
Sahlgrenska akademin vid Göteborgs universitet
0766-18 38 69
031-786 3869
krister.svahn@sahlgrenska.gu.se

Sahlgrenska akademin är Göteborgs universitets största fakultet, med undervisning och forskning inom farmaci, medicin, odontologi och vårdvetenskap. Här bedrivs alltifrån grundläggande studier av molekylers struktur, via patientnära forskning i samarbete med Västra Götalandsregionen, till studier på befolkningsnivå. Allt för att förebygga, lindra och behandla sjukdom och ohälsa.

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